Q - I run into an old flame dito sa FB and she’s very accommodating sa akin and never madamot sa compliments. I never told her about my needs for appreciation from my ice-cold, unappreciative wife, but she is eager to catch up with my life here through chat… aaminin ko po its been a long time since i felt appreciated kaya nga po mas gusto ko cya kausap kaysa wife ko and she knows im married... and wala naman cyang masamang intention pero minsan flirty po cya makipag usap kaya nagiging ganun din ang replies ko sa kanya.
Should i get rid of her nalang ba siguro?A - Dapat!
Stop. Block. Kabwisitan ang uuwian nyan, especially that you are married.
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Q - Ano po ang gagawin ko sa aming pastor's wife na panay ang punta/text/pm/email/etc sa akin para lang siraan ang ibang pastors?
A - Sungangain mo at itaboy /i-block
ang dalahira.
1 Timothy 5:13
...these (Apply to all other persons) begin to waste their time going from house to house. They also begin to gossip and try to run other people’s lives. They say things they should not say.
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STRUGGLE WITH ONE'S PERSONALITY
Q - Matagal na po akong Christian pero kahit gaanong pagsisikap ko ay may hindi mabago at maiba sa aking pagkatao na itinuturo ng church namin ay masama at dapat baguhin. Talaga pong todo ang pagsisikap kong baguhin ang bahaging iyon ng personality ko pero ang ending lang po ay frustration, guilt, shame, fear, self-rejection and hypocrisy kasi ay itinatago ko na lang tuloy ang totoo kong pagkatao na ayon sa teachings ay not the standard. Sa simula pa lang ay alam kong ganito na ako at ginawa ko na lahat-lahat para mabago dahil nga sa demonization, rejection, ridicule, and all other negative things attendant to my personality. Worse, ako pa ang nasisisi sa ganitong sitwasyon na di ko naman nilikha o pinili. Sino ba naman ang kusang pipili na maging "less than standard" para lang maging talung-talo sa treatment ng marami?
I'm tired of trying to be sobody or something else other that who and what I really am. I'm tired of hiding, na lumala lang ng naging chuch member ako kasi at hindi ako tinatangap ng sarili kong church.
Bakit po kahit anong dasal at pagsisikap magbago ay hindi pa rin ako maging ideal/standard samatalang yung marami ay napaka effortless nila at natural na natural na ideal/standard na agad sila without even trying? How can I be like everyone else? Or what should I do to suffer less?
Q - Ang character na tao ay bunga ng dalawang major factors: 1.NATURE and 2. NURTURE.
Kung ang personality ay galing sa 2. NURTURE (meaning training, education, bringing up, environtment, etc.) ay puede itong maiba with retraining, reeducation, reconditioning and change of environment, etc. Pero siempre, mahirap at matagal na process ito at puedeng hindi maging 100% ang reshaping kasi may mga habits ng nabuo na overtime.
Kung ang personality naman ay galing sa NATURE (meaning genetic, in-born, likas) ay hindi yun mababago ng kahit anumang pagpipilit kasi nga ay likas.
Jeremiah 13:23 (CEV)
Can you ever change...?
Can people change the color
of their skin,
or can a leopard
remove its spots?
---
What is natural/genetic/inborn cannot be changed. It is only to be accepted. At best, it could only be modifed slightly.
Ang pagpipilit baguhin ito ay magbubunga lang ng sobrang inner struggle and conflict, frustration, feeling of failure, anguish, pain and suffering. Dapat lang itong tanggapin.
Kung ang personality naman ay in-born/natural na nga tapos ay sobra pang nadevelop by nurture, kung babaguhin ang nurture ay puedeng may maiba ng konti sa outward behavior, actions and habits of the person (kaya akala ng outsider-obeservers ay nagbago na nga yung tao, pero yung inner, genetic nature nya ay di pa rin mababago.)
Ang mahalaga ay self-aceptance ng may katawan at acceptance sa iba kung sila ay ganyan.
On the issue of personality, Jesus was once asked why some men do not/cannot have sexual relations with women. (So the question was about sexual personality/identity) He answered:
Matthew 19:11-12 (NIV)
Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others —and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
In others words, Jesus says:
... “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
= UNDERSTANDING THIS REALITY REQUIRES SPIRITUAL /SUPERNATURAL REVELATION AND ENLIGHTENMENT. Not everyone will see it this way.
"For there are eunuchs who were born that way"
= NATURE, GENES, IN-BORN FACTORS not chosen by the individual and cannot be changed. Why blame people if they were "born that way"?
"and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others"
= NURTURE / CONDITIONING /ASSIGNMENT BY THE ENVIRONMENT. This may ba changed, up to a point.
" —and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven."
= PERSONAL CHOICE, MAY be changed by the changing of one's mind.
"The one who can accept this should accept it.”
= This reality/truth will be accepted by those who have the spiritual gift/enlightenment to understand it. (Those who are not gifted can't/won't accept it.)
Change for the better what can be changed. Work hard at it.
Meanwhile, do not kill yourself or others tryIng to change what is genetic and in-born. God created all people, and every in-born trait could only by caused and given the Creator.
Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
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Thank God for creating you that way. God could not be wrong! Celebrate life; it is a gift to be enjoyed, not a problem to be solved nor a mistake to correct and change.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to people who are "less-than-standard"; as it is, they suffer too much already.
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