Tips on Counseling

  - Tito, young pastor-counselor po ako. Any tips?

A - I-series natin para di masyadong mahaba:

DO NOT

1. Entertain every "counselee"; maraming wala lang magawa at gustung gawin ang wala na yun with you. Instantly asses kung ano ang pakay nila: Ask "Ano ang ibig mong ma-accomplish ng couseling natin? Ano ang ibig mong maging bunga ng usapan?"

Dapat clear sa kanya kung ano ang ibig nya. At clear din sa yo.

Kasi merong mga kunwari pa-counsel pero ibig palang umutang, o makipag-ligawan, o basta mag-rant lang, o sinusubukan kung ano ang alam /belief /stand mo on issues.

BE A WISE COUNSELOR. Do not be gullible (i-google ang meaning kung absent nung ituro yan sa school.).

Tips on Counseling # 2

Q - Tito, young pastor-counselor po ako. Any tips?

A - I-series natin para di masyadong mahaba:

DO NOT

2. Counsel face-to-face; online na lang.

Tipid sa oras at energy kesa magtagpo pa kayo in-person. Uubos ng oras at energy sa pag-set ng common time, sa pagpunta sa venue, etc. AT PAG IN-PERSON ANG USAPAN, MARAMING NAUUBOS NA PANAHON sa mga tweetums kumustahan, drama-drama, blah-blah-blah. AT may mga counselees na ibig pang kumalong sa counselor, ha!

(Tapos magma-maritess o magdedemanda ng "ABUSE"!)

WAG OA-ly bait. Stick to standard behavior. Kailangan din ng protection ng counselor from counselees.

AND! IN REVERSE, (TAKE NOTE, COUNSELEES), MAY MGA MANIAKIS DING "COUNSELORS". BEWARE pag nagtatanong ng steamy details about your sexuality or sex life!

Ingat din, Counselor kung si Counselee naman ang nagde-detail ng sex moves nya ---baka inaakit at tine-turn on pala!

Lahat ingat-ingat pag may taym.

Tips on Counseling # 3

Q - Tito, young pastor-counselor po ako. Any tips?

A - I-series natin para di masyadong mahaba:

DO NOT

3. SPOIL counselees by letting them call you any time. Lagyan ng disiplina ang counseling. WHY set this order? Kasi kung pagigising ka any time na tulog ka, your health, alertness and even intelligence will suffer. In the end, LUGI ang counselee at ikaw. Preserve your health, keep your sanity: set definite, decent hours for counseling ---except for life-and-death emergencies.

(Merong mga mag-asawa na mambubulahaw ng "bait" counselor sa hating-gabi, pupunta sa bahay ng counselor ---at dun magbo-boxing!)

Maya-maya, ang counselor na ang pasyente ---sa Mandaluyong.

Tips on Counseling # 4

Q - Tito, young pastor-counselor po ako. Any tips?

A - I-series natin para di masyadong mahaba:

DO NOT

4. Counsel just anytime, anywhere.

May "bait" counselor na kahit namamasyal sila ng pamilya sa mall at makita ng "counselee", haharangin at biglang magpapa-counsel. ILAGAY SA TAMANG LUGAR AT ORAS, kahit ang "ministry". Wag isiping maliliit na bagay/sacrifice lang naman yan.

ITO AY maiipon sa kung saang hidden lalagayan at biglang sasabog isang araw ---o dahan-dahang magmu-"multo" in installments.

Tips on Counseling # 5

Q - Tito, young pastor-counselor po ako. Any tips?

A - I-series natin para di masyadong mahaba:

DO NOT

5. OFFER ETERNITY schedules. Lagyan ng planned time of beginning and conclusion ang usapan. Turuan at i-train ang counselee na mag-compose ng isip, ng kwento, ng tanong nya ---para wise ang paggamit nyo sa oras. Pwedeng isulat nya, gawan nya ng notes ang sasabihin nya sa pag-uusap nyo para hindi paikut-ikot ng walang direksyon ang usapan. YES! IBIG NYANG PA-COUNSEL, DAPAT GAWIN NYA ANG HOME WORK. Sa pagplano nya ng takbo ng usapan, magiging mas malinaw din sa kanya kung ano nga ba ang tunay na importanteng details ng topic.

Effective organizer ng usapan ang intelligent questions na ibig nyang itanong sa yo at ibig mong itanong sa kanya. SIMPLIFY YOUR COUNSELING BY /INTO INTELLIGENT Q & A. This will move the discussion in a orderly way.

ASK YOUR COUNSELEE TO PREPARE in advance SPECIFIC QUESTIONS TO ASK YOU.

Proverbs 27.5 Open rebuke is better than secret love.

 Q - Tito pwede po ba magbigay kayo ng optional interpretation and application of

Proverbs 27.5 Open rebuke is better than secret love.

Sawang-sawa na po akong madinig yan being used /abused by self-righteous people every time may gusto silang i-judge o pakialaman!

Something inside me tells me very strongly na mali ang understanding and use nila of this verse kasi parang the verse becomes a license to hurt needlessly.

A -

One version, NLV, says:

“Sharp words spoken in the open are better than love that is hidden.”

In most proverbs the message is put across by presenting opposite/clashing ideas or options, and

THERE ARE TWO OPPOSITE IDEAS IN PROVERBS 27.5:

1. THE DESIRABLE, which is love /being loved

and

2. THE UNDESIRABLE which is being rebuked, especially openly/publicly. (The pain of this experience is never “desirable”.)

The verse could be poetically saying this idea:

• While love is desirable, IF it is only in secret and unexpressed,

then something undesirable ---like being rebuked openly---

could be considered as better.

Puede ring tingnan yung ideas here, not as opposites, but as alike.

For example, parehong masakit:

Masakit ma-open rebuke pero

mas masakit maibig ng palihim lang.

=

Mas mabuti pa ma-open rebuke

kesa ma-secret love.

Of course, arte lang to. Hindi talaga mean.

In other words,

• Being loved is desirable; being openly rebuked is not desirable.

But receiving something undesirable like an open rebuke could be considered better than being the object of a secret love (which one would rather like to be the one OPEN, instead of the rebuke!)

Katulad ng paghahambing ng dalawang parehong sorrow, like

Mabuting pang mamatay (undesirable)

kesa mabuhay ng wala ka (mas undesirable.)

=

Mas mabuti pang ma-rebuke openly kesa mamahal ng lihim lamang.

Puede ring ironic way or presenting the message which is:

Dapar yung love ang open at yung rebuke ang secret (private)

The core idea could actually be :

LOVE, instead of rebuke, SHOULD BE EXPRESSED OPENLY.

In an exaggerated way, this proverb says

Mas mabuti pang tumanggap ng masakit na open rebuke kesa tumanggap ng secret love.

Ang tunay na message:

GAWING OPEN ANG SECRET LOVE

at

GAWING SECRET ANG OPEN REBUKE.

The verse should not be read as a license for self-appointed critics and judges to openly / callously rebuke anyone and everyone.

Why do we think that the verse is better interpreted this way?

Kasi ang Proverbs ay collection of WISDOM.

And by the painful, harsh and divisive fruits of indiscriminate open rebuke, it is obvious that the usual interpretation is NOT wise.

THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF THE VERSE COULD not HAVE BEEN TO WEAPONIZE THE TONGUES OF THE JUDGMENTAL

AND PAKI-ALAMERA/O the way it happens when Proverbs 27.5 is

Interpreted as a license to openly, publicly and painfully rebuke anyone and everyone.

Also, kung gusting i-interpret along the usual way, puede rin naman but only if the two main ideas in the verse are noted: REBUKE and LOVE.

So why not read as:

MAKE YOUR LOVE OPEN and YOUR REBUKE SECRET.

Or

REBUKE IN A LOVING WAY.

Or

REBUKE OUT OF LOVE; rebuke only those you truly love kasi kung di mo love, magiging harsh ka lang.

Or

Rebuke because you love, so your rebuke would be done in a loving way.

WHY do we think the verse should be read in this more loving way?

Because Proverbs is a collection of wisdom. mas faithful to the intent of Proverbs ang wise, kind, loving, diplomatic, conciliatory interpretation than a self-righteous, abusive one.

RIGHTEOUSNESS AND SALVATION

 RIGHTEOUSNESS AND SALVATION

Q - Tito, nalito po ako sa sinabi nyo na naniniwala ka po sa "Once Saved, Always Saved". Eh nu pong relation niyan sa Philippians 2:12, "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling." and Hebrews 10:26-27, "For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries."?

A -

"Work out", ibig sabihin put to practice. Like workout sa gym = practice.

Sino ba namang believer ang magpapatuloy ng walang preno at humpay sa pagkakasala?

Yung Hebrews, ibig sabihin pag natikman mo na ang biyaya ng Diyos pag nakilala/nalaman mo na si Jesus ang savior tapos nireject mo pa sya, wala ka nang iba pang mahahanap o mahihintay na savior.

Q - Aside from rejecting Christ, what are other factors po in which a Christian can lose his/her salvation po?

A - I dont think a believer will ever lose salvation.

Q - Kahit po for example, di pa po nadedeliver sa mga unrighteous acts? What if a Christian won't work (practice) his/her salvation? Is there any fairness po ba to the part of those who eagerly seeks righteousness that shows that GOD is a god of justice, fairness, and equality?

A - If God would practice justice, no one could be saved. Because no one is righteous enough.

Q - Di ba po one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is righteousness? And if we received it, we will obtain this fruit that makes a Christian righteous, and the rest of it. Pano po kaya ang interpretation dun?

A - "Imputed righteousness" saves. Imputed yung righteousness na bigay ng Diyos, Hindi dahil sa performance ng tao kundi dahil sa faith nya.

Q - So how to become righteous po??

A - Mayrong imputed/God-given righteousness through faith in Jesus. This is what saves. Mayrong personal righteousness earned through performance. This does not save; this only places one in the path of blessings. Lack of this earned righteousness will not invalidate salvation;

it could only lessen blessings in this life.

Q - Is it much better to have that imputed righteousness and personal righteousness that you are stating? Yung tipong may faith na, may performance pa or dapat sa imputed lang naka tingin?

A - Of course! Kaya "saved by faith, not by works so that no one can boast." Kaya di nawawala ang salvation kasi based on imputed righteousness yun, not on performance.

Kaya may teaching on Eternal Security.

KAYOD NANG KAYOD PERO POOR PA RIN?!

KAYOD NANG KAYOD PERO POOR PA RIN?!

Q - Nakakagalit pong makita ang sarili mo n kayod ng kayod pero hndi kp rin tinatakasan ng kahirapan while u see others keep doing nothing pero ang yayaman at may mga kasambahay pa...sometimes napapaisip po aq...how come ganun ang buhay nila.. ung tinatamasa nila? And for us n mga taghirap lagi...what do we deserve? Totoo ba ang malas pastor? Manginginom ung tatay q..housewife po nanay q..nkapagtapos aq dahil nagworking student...pero nkapagasawa din ng tamad...may trabaho po aq pero sa tagal ng promotion kaya nagpalipat2 aq...malas po b aq? GOD is a loving God nmn po db...bkit po kaya parang ang ilap ng swerte sakin..kulang b ang faith q?

A - MARAMING POSSIBLE EXPLANATIONS:

1. Mahina ang buelo mo sa simula dahil sa mga sinabi mong lagay ng parents mo. MERONG MGA BATA PA LANG ANG MAY PUSH NA NG PARENTS/FAMILY.

2. Napangasawa mo, sabi mo tamad. Wala ka nang nakukuhang push sa kanya, baka pabigat pa?

3. Yung companies na pinasukan mo, mabagal ang promotions. BAKA HINDI GANUN KA-PROGRESSIVE ANG COMPANIES NA YAN so nadadamay ka.

IN ALL OF THE FIRST THREE POINTS ABOVE, MAY DAMAY EFFECT.

Part yan ng Natural Law.

4. IKAW mismo, baka nasa wrong field/trabaho. Baka hindi yan ang best suited for you. Baka yung pinag-aralan mo ay hindi yung best suited for you.

SO, YOU HAVE TO WORK EXTRA HARD JUST TO GET AVERAGE SUCCESS OR PROGRESS.

This could be under the Cause-And-Effect phenomenon.

LAHAT NG BUNGA AY MAY PUNO/UGAT.

KUNG ANO ANG PUNO AY SYANG BUNGA.

5. Mahina ba ang faith mo? Only you can answer this. Kumusta ang faith mo sa sarli mong kakayahan? Hindi lang yang faith in God out there, but also faith in the wonder of God's creation that is YOU.

---

DO NOT COMPARE YOUR SELF/LIFE WITH OTHERS. Just keep doing your best...and keep finding that best/most suited career for you.

Also, keep improving your knowledge and skills. Keep learning new and fruitful skills.

EXPAND your social circle; sabi nga ng iba: "It's not what you know but who you know." Hindi yan laging totoo, pero may katotohanan din yan. People need help ---especially in the beginning (and in the end). It's good to have people we help and who help us.

HOLINNESS?!

 Q - Dapat po bang as a discipler ay

i-require ko ang disciples ko to be

holy? To be morally clean and

upright?

1 Peter 1:15-16

16 Be holy in everything you do, just as God is holy. He is the one who chose you.

16 In the Scriptures God says, “Be holy, because I am holy.”[a]

Quote from Leviticus 11:44, 45; 19:2;

20:7.

A - Ang ibig sabihin ng “holiness” noon, especially sa Leviticus, ay hindi the same

sa ibig sabihin in later times and today.

Ang ibig sabihin ng HOLINESS noon sa Leviticus, na syang quoted by

1 Peter.15-16, ay separation from things that the ancient Hebrews (Israelites) considered ceremonially unclean.

Ang holiness noon almost meant CLINICAL cleanliness and purity from anything or person or animal or act or deed considered UNCLEAN in their Ceremonial/Ritual Law and could make them unclean = unHOLY.

PAG SINABI NOON NA “BE HOLY”,

ANG IBIG SABIHIN LANG AY,

“DO NOT BE DEFILED/MADE UNCLEAN by touching or by associating with unclean people, animals, things or rituals, etc.

AND JESUS ALREADY VOIDED ALL THOSE CEREMONIAL/RITUAL LAWS.

IN FACT JESUS DEMONSTRATED THE VOIDING OF THOSE LAWS when he touched "unclean" things and even associated with "unclean" people.

Of course turo pa rin ni Jesus ang lahat ng kabutihan, kabaitan sa kapwa at kalinisan ng puso at isip. At yun ang dapat ituro ng discipler.

Remember, sabi ni Jesus sa

Matthew 28.19-20 ERV

19... So go and make followers of all people in the world... 20 Teach them to obey everything that I have told you to do/ everything I have commanded you.

---

EH ANO BA ANG "EVERYTHING" na itinuro at example ni Jesus:

LAW ba?

Ceremonial Law /"Holiness" ba?

Hindi ba't "JESUS CAME TO DESTROY THE LAW OF MOSES, WITH ALL ITS RULES AND COMMANDS"?

Hindi ba't essentially, ang kaisa-isang turo, example and command of Jesus

--- THEREFORE ang TRUE COMMISSION ni Jesus ---ay "LOVE"!

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