Planning the perfect wedding

Your Wedding Budget

So, you are getting married! Congratulations! Right now, you are probably on top

of the world, and you have probably never felt as happy as you do at this time in

your life. You have probably never felt quite so overwhelmed at any other time in

your life. Weddings are wonderful – and beautiful – but they don’t get that way all

by themselves, and planning a beautiful wedding can be quite stressful.

The good news is that you really can avoid most of that stress, and this starts by

setting a budget. Whether you are paying for your wedding, or your parents are

paying for your wedding, there must be a budget in place - from the beginning –

and you and whoever else is working with you to create the perfect wedding must

stay within that budget.

By having a budget, you will avoid numerous arguments. You will also actually

limit your choices. Right now, the choices seem unlimited – and of course that

means that they are also overwhelming. Believe it or not, once you have that

budget in place, it becomes a great deal easier to make other decisions.

When you start making a budget, you will already have a pretty good idea as to

how much you can afford to spend overall. Just knowing this information,

however, does not mean that you have a budget. You need to determine how

that money will be distributed. Get a pen and paper, gather all of the important

players together, and let’s make a budget.

The important thing is not to leave anything out. Things to include in the budget

are:

Wedding Attire

Photography

Payment for Minister         

Cost of venues

Transportation

Cost of Marriage License       

Catering

Bridal Shower

Accessories       

Wedding Cake

Rehearsal Dinner

Chair/Table Rentals       

Decorations

Engagement Party

Guest Book/Pen       

Glasses, china, silver

Flowers

Bubbles/Rice/Bird Seed       

Napkins, matchbooks

Wedding Party Gifts

Lighting/PA Equipment       

Invitations

Hair Appointment

Linens       

Music/DJ

Manicure/Pedicure

Thank You Notes       

Wedding favors

Alcoholic Beverages

Wedding Planner Fee             

There may be additional costs that are specific to your wedding that also need to

be budgeted in. Take your time, and make sure that you have everything

covered, and also make sure that you are being realistic about the cost of things.

This may require some research to come up with a realistic, workable budget.            

Selecting the Wedding Party

Once you have your budget in place, you are ready to get to work. The first thing

you will want to do is to select your wedding party. This is a big deal for most

couples, and sometimes, the choices are not easy to make – and feelings can be

hurt. Therefore, this is an important step, and it does require a lot of thought. It

also needs to be done early, so that there are no assumptions or

misunderstandings.

Wedding party members include the maid or matron of honor, the bridesmaids,

the best man, the groomsmen, the flower girl, the ring bearer, the ushers, the

ceremony official, and of course the parents and grandparents of the bride and

groom.

If your budget is really tight, you can also select people to serve at the reception.

You will need someone to see over the guest book, and several people to serve

wedding cake and punch. While this is not typical at expensive weddings, it is

very typical at smaller weddings, and perfectly acceptable. The friends and family

members who serve at your wedding in this capacity are considered members of

the wedding party, and the women will need corsages, and the men will need

boutonnieres. These wedding party members, however, do not typically have

special clothing to wear – they wear what anyone would normally wear to a

wedding, as a guest.

Start by determining who will be the best man, the maid of honor, the flower girl,

and the ring bearer. From there, determine how many bridesmaids there will be,

and remember that each bridesmaid represents an added expense in the grand

scheme of things. Select the same number of groomsmen as there are

bridesmaids. Two ushers is the typical number, although if you are having a

really large number of guests, you may need up to six. Depending on your

budget, the size of your wedding, and the venue, you may also be responsible for

hiring or enlisting your own valets as well, to park cars.

Keep costs in mind! Sometimes, the party paying for the wedding also pays for

the wedding attire of all members of the wedding. Other times, bridesmaids,

groomsmen, ring bearers, flower girls, ushers, the best man, and the maid of

honor all pay for their own clothing. Keep this in mind, and make sure that you

and the people that you choose know who is expected to pay for what right from

the beginning.

Above all, remember that this is your wedding – your special day – and you

should not allow anyone to pressure you into choosing your wedding party

members. You should choose the people that you want to stand up with you on

this special day – regardless of feelings that may get hurt.            

The Wedding Date

With your budget set and your wedding party selected, you need to set a date

before you can move forward with anything else. You cannot select venues or

order invitations without knowing the date and time of your wedding, and the time

of your reception as well.

This can be a source of stress for many couples. Again, gather all of the players

together, and start tossing around potential dates for your wedding. There are

many factors to consider. For example, depending on the size and complexity of

your wedding, you may need a year to plan it. There may be numerous out of

town guests who will need time off from work to attend your wedding. You may

have your heart set on getting married at a certain time of the year. The list of

possibilities goes on and on.

The thing to remember here is that no matter how hard you try, there is never

going to be a date that is ‘perfect’ for everyone involved. The bride and groom, as

well as the official, are the only people who actually have to be there, and others

will somehow manage to work it into their schedule.

If you come up with several possible dates, and you can’t choose one, write the

dates down, throw them in a bowl, and pick one. Remember that spring and

summer weddings are very popular – and summer weddings work especially well

because out of town guests can use vacation time to attend. Winter and fall

weddings, however, are also beautiful, and you can often get services cheaper

during these times. Seasonal weather may or may not play a role in your

decision.

Ideally, you will have your wedding on a weekend. This is usually on a Saturday,

but could also be on a Sunday, or on a Friday night. Again, this is up to the bride

and groom, but you must remember that most people work during the week, and

getting to a wedding may not be easy.

Once you have a date, you need an hour. What time do you want to get married?

You can opt to marry in the morning, the afternoon, or the evening – and again,

this is up to you. Hopefully, you have chosen an official for your wedding, and

you can check dates and hours with that person as well.

Again, picking the date isn’t always easy, nor is picking the hour of the wedding.

Once you have chosen a time for the wedding, you should plan to have the

reception about one hour past the start time for the wedding. This gives you time

for the ceremony, and for everyone to change venues for the reception, if they

are held in separate places. If they are held in the same place, plan for the

reception to start thirty minutes after the start of the wedding ceremony.            

The Wedding Venue and Guest List

With a date and time in mind, you are ready to choose the place where you will

marry. For some people, there is no question concerning this. If you attend

church regularly, and you have always wanted a church wedding, you pretty

much already know where you will marry. All you have to do now is to make sure

that the church is available on that date, and at that time.

Some weddings are too big for some churches, or some couples do not desire a

church wedding, for numerous reasons. In this case, you will need a different

venue. Some weddings take place at private homes, although these are typically

very small weddings.

The ideal place for your wedding will be one that can accommodate the number

of guests that you plan to invite. Some people make the guest list before they

start shopping for a venue, and this is a smart thing to do. Once you know how

many people will be attending, start thinking about all of the possible locations

that your wedding can be held, and make a list.

With that list of possibilities, discuss the potential locations with your wedding

party. Some will be able to tell you why one place will be perfect, while others will

be able to tell you why you should mark some places off of your list completely.

Listen to what they have to say. The old saying is that two heads are better than

one, and three are better than two. Take that to heart.

Once you have pared down your list a bit, call the potential venues for an

appointment to view these places. When you call, let them know what date you

need the venue, and the time. This, in turn, will allow you to mark more locations

off of your list, because they won’t all be available. Also inquire about the cost of

renting the venue. Some will be out of your price range, and you can mark those

off of your list. Now, go to actually see the possible venues that are left. Be sure

to take your groom with you.

When you arrive, make sure that the venue has everything that you will require.

You may require an area to dress. You may want your wedding and reception to

be held in the same place. You may need a PA system. Really look things over,

and try to imagine your wedding in action in each of these venues. Where will

people park? Where will chairs be set up? Where will the bride and groom each

enter? What is the lighting like? Can the lighting be dimmed? Don’t allow anyone

to rush you through your visit.

Finally, choose a location. Call that location to let them know that you want to

book the venue for the date and time of your wedding, and go ahead and put

down a deposit for it, so that nobody else comes along and snatches it out from

under you.            

The Reception Venue

Like the wedding ceremony venue, the location for your reception must be able

to accommodate the number of people that you have invited. It must also be a

suitable location for dancing, for a band or DJ, and for caterers to adequately

serve food. In most cases, it will have a kitchen available as well.

If your wedding reception will be held in a different venue from the wedding, think

about the possibilities that are not located too far away from the wedding venue

first. Again, make a list, and discuss it with your wedding party. Next, call the

venues. Make sure that each one is available on the date and time of your

reception, that each venue can hold the number of people you plan to invite, and

that each venue does fit into your budget. Set up appointments to view the ones

that are still on your list.

Before you visit these venues, check in with your caterer and DJ. Ask them what

they need in the way of a venue. Some caterers or DJs will agree to go with you

to view the venues so that they can see first hand if it is adequate for them. Take

them along, and again, listen to what they have to say.

Some venues will be more preferable than others. For example, if you book your

reception at a hotel, the hotel may be able to cater the reception as well. They

will usually include chairs and tables as well, and they are well set up for DJs and

wedding receptions in general. Ballrooms and Halls are also great places for

wedding receptions.

Keep your budget in mind at all times, and cut costs where you can. Any venue

that includes the tables and chairs that you will need should be strongly

considered, as this will save you some money – and some work. Also, find out

about ‘housekeeping.’ For some venues, you will be responsible for cleaning up

the mess after the party, while others will handle all of that for you. Obviously, if

you are responsible, you will need to line people up to do that for you in advance.

Don’t be too quick to decide that you don’t like a venue. You may not realize it

right now, but most venues that are large enough for a wedding reception are

actually quite ugly – until they are decorated. As mentioned, it is important to see

it in my mind – fully decorated and full of people – to truly determine whether the

venue is the right place for your reception or not.

As with the wedding venue, when you find the reception venue that you want, put

a deposit down on it to secure it. If your florist, caterer, and photographer did not

go with you to see the venue initially, they will need to see it at some point after

you have chosen it.            

Let Them Eat Cake…and Other Stuff

If there is to be a wedding, there must be a wedding cake, and for this, you will

need a baker. The chances are good that you will need a baker, even if you are

planning on hiring a caterer. So, which baker will bake your cake?

It is a good idea to get some referrals here. If you have friends or coworkers who

have recently married, simply ask them who did their cake. Ask them what they

thought of their baker, and if they would recommend them. If so, you’ve probably

found your baker, and you should make an appointment with them to discuss

your wedding cake.

If you don’t have anyone who can refer a baker to you, you must turn to other

resources. Get a list of bakers in your area, and visit their shops. You don’t need

to make an appointment for the initial visit. What you are looking at initially is their

work, in general. Get a sense of whether or not their shop is clean, and whether

or not the designs of fresh baked goods in their shop are to your liking. If so, you

are ready to discuss your cake with them. Most bakers have pictures of cakes

that they have done in the past. Ask to see those.

Once you’ve settled on a baker and a cake, the baker will ask either for a

deposit, or for the full amount of the cake. Get this taken care of, and if you are

planning to hire a caterer, and don’t have any in mind, ask the baker who they

might recommend.

For caterers, you will need to make an appointment. The caterer will need to

know the number of guests, and will probably suggest several different menus for

you to choose from. While the cake was one flat fee, the caterer will typically

charge per head. When they quote you a price, they are quoting the price per

person.

You may also need to discuss appetizer with your caterer, as well as beverages.

Note that not all caterers provide china, glasses, and silver, and you need to

know whether they do or not. If they don’t, however, they probably have vendors

that they work with that will supply these items. Some caterers will also provide

the linens that you need.

It cannot be said often enough – keep your budget in mind, and make sure that

you are not going overboard on the food. If you have a tight budget, realize that

you don’t have to serve food at all at your reception. You can opt to serve cake,

nuts, mints, punch, and things of this nature. Just plan your wedding and

reception times around normal meal times. For example, if your wedding is at

1

:00pm, and your reception is from 2:00 to 4:00pm, nobody will expect to be

served dinner.            

Music for the Wedding and Reception

Have you dreamed of your wedding and heard music in the background of those

dreams? The chances are that you have. The chances are also good that you

have no idea what music was actually playing in those dreams. You’ve got to find

music for your wedding.

First, let’s think about the wedding. You need music to walk down the aisle.

Some people want a pianist or organist, while some are happy with a CD played

over the PA system, or used in a CD player that is loud enough – and clear

enough. Either way, you need a pianist/organist or someone to control the CD

player.

You can choose any music that you want to walk up the aisle, but the traditional

music is from Lohengrin, which we know as the Wedding March. You also need

music to walk back up the aisle with your new husband. This song is often

referred to as the Bridal March. You may also want a special song played during

the ceremony. You may have a friend or cousin who will sing during your

wedding. This needs to be planned, and if CDs will be used, the music needs to

be burned onto the CD in the order that it will be played.

You will also need music for the reception. If you will be going all out, and there

will be dancing, you might want to consider hiring a band, or at the very least a

DJ. If you can’t afford either of these, you will need to have numerous CDs to

play, and appoint someone to take care of the CD player.

If you will be hiring a band or DJ, start interviewing early. If possible, you should

attend an event where the DJs or bands that you are considering are working to

see them in action. Once you’ve done that, and you have a list of the ones that

you definitely want, start at the top of that list, and work your way down. The first

thing you will need to know is if they are available on the date and time that you

need them. Next, you need to know what their price is. As with everything else,

these two factors will eliminate some musicians or DJs from your list

automatically.

Once you’ve found a DJ or band that is available, and that works into your

budget, note that you do not generally give a band or DJ a deposit. Instead, they

are paid at the end of the event. You will want to check with them a month before

the wedding, and again a week before the wedding to make sure that they are

going to show up.            

Wedding Favors

You’ve been very busy. You’ve set a date, hired a caterer, hired a baker, found

venues for the ceremony and reception, and you have music lined up. Hopefully,

you still have lots of energy, because there is still much to be done. But for now,

let’s do something fun. You get to pick out wedding favors for your guests!

First note that wedding favors do not have to be expensive. In fact, you can put

together wedding favor bags that are very elegant, for less than five bucks a bag.

For budgeting purposes, multiply $5 by the number of guests that you will have. If

it is more than you can spend, simply buy cheaper wedding favors.

Some ideas for wedding favors include small photo albums or picture frames,

ornaments, small bells, flower seeds, chocolates, mini bottles of cider and things

of this nature. Think small – but elegant.

Some people have welcome gifts and parting gifts, but you don’t have to do this.

Instead, you could print up programs for your wedding, and guests can pick

these up when they arrive at the wedding. At the reception, include a table that

has bags of birdseed or bottles of bubbles which will be thrown or blown at the

bride and groom as they leave. On another table, include little gift bags for all of

the guests. These will contain your wedding favors.

Don’t go broke with wedding favors. Even if you spend just two dollars per

guests, if you have one hundred guests you are spending $200. You can opt to

fix small gift bags with wedding mementos for each guest instead. These small

bags may contain an engraved matchbook, a bottle of bubbles, a printed napkin,

and things of this nature. Also realize that some people don’t provide wedding

favors at all.

If you do want to give out wedding favors, but money is still an issue, do your

shopping online, and order in bulk. For example, at www.papermart.com you can

order gift bags in bulk for about forty cents each. At www.discountmugs.com, you

can order engraved glasses and shot glasses for less than a dollar each. If you

just do a little online browsing, you can put together fabulous wedding favors for

very little money.

You will also need small gifts for the wedding party. Traditional wedding party

gifts include necklaces for the women and cufflinks for the men. Don’t forget the

ushers, as they are part of the wedding party. Wedding party gifts are typically

handed out right before the wedding starts, and necklaces and cufflinks are

usually worn during the ceremony.            

Wedding Invitations

Wedding invitations are a must, and they should be ordered as soon as possible.

In the past, one went down to their local stationary store or printer, and picked

out invitations from a book. Today, you can actually do your shopping online,

have more selections, and typically get a much better price.

Traditionally, the invitation would include the names of the parents of the bride

and groom, and would be worded in a way where the bride’s parents are

requesting the guest’s presence at the wedding. In more recent times, that

changed to where the parents of the bride and groom were extending the

invitation. It later changed to naming the parents of the bride and groom, but the

invitation was worded in a way that made it clear that the bride and groom were

extending the invitation.

Today, with all of the mixed up family dynamics, it is perfectly acceptable to leave

off the parents names altogether and only include the names of the bride and

groom. When there are four parents of one person (mother and step-father and

father and step-mother for the bride, and mother and step-father and father and

step-mother for the groom) the invitations get a bit wordy – and expensive.

The invitation really only needs the brides name, the grooms name, the date of

the wedding and the time, the address of the wedding venue, the address of the

reception venue, any special instructions, and of course a request for an

R.S.V.P. It is customary to include an R.S.V.P postcard as well, with the

invitation, and this postcard should already have the postage attached to it. It

should be as convenient for the person that you are inviting as possible.

Invitations vary in price, depending on what you choose. They can cost anywhere

from one dollar each up to several dollars each. Again, remember your budget,

and when you look at the budget that you’ve set for your invitations and response

cards, also remember that postage must also be included in that number. These

days, it costs forty one cents to mail an invitation. You can save money by

forgoing the response cards as well. Instead, you can include a line on the

invitation, asking people to call in their R.S.V.P.

What you must remember is that each person you invite is costing you money.

You are paying for their invitation, for their response card, for their wedding

favors, for their food, for their piece of cake, for the chair that they sit in, and even

for their dancing at your wedding. This is why there is always so much discussion

over guest lists, and why number limits are set right from the beginning. Use

good judgment and common sense when making that guest list – and when

ordering the invitations.            

Wedding Attire

You can’t go naked, and this is a special occasion. You, your groom, your

wedding party, and the parents of the bride and groom need wedding attire, and

you will spend a great deal of money on this.

Of all of the attire, the wedding dress will most likely be the most expensive item.

You don’t have to purchase a wedding dress, however. You can actually rent a

dress, and this is a more feasible option for some brides. Others are a bit more

sentimental, and want to save their wedding dress, and pass it on to their own

daughters and/or grand daughters.

Speaking of passing things on, before you spend hundreds or thousands of

dollars on a wedding gown, why don’t you check out the wedding gowns of your

own mother, your grandmother, your future mother-in-law, and your future

grandmother-in-law as well?

You may be amazed at what they still have in their closets, and you may also be

surprised to find that their dresses are elegant, and still very much in style. Not

only will you save a wagon load of money, but you will be wearing something that

is very special indeed. Don’t worry if it doesn’t fit – it can be altered at any bridal

shop. You will of course need new shoes, stockings, a garter, and accessories,

and depending on the shape of the veil, you may need a new veil as well.

Hopefully, you’ve already determined whether you will be paying for the

bridesmaid dresses and the men’s attire or not. You need to pick these items out.

Sometimes, bridesmaid dresses can also be rented, and if this is available in

your area, this is the way to go.

All of the men’s attire, including the grooms, can be rented, and all rentals should

be reserved well in advance, with a deposit paid. Rentals should be picked up a

day or two in advance, and checked to ensure that all of the pieces of the

tuxedos are included.

Generally, the mothers pick out their own dresses. They typically choose the

same colors that the bride has chosen for her wedding, and often consult with

each other – and possibly even shop together – when purchasing their dresses.

The fathers usually wear tuxedos just as the groomsmen do.

Don’t forget the small things. Slips or petticoats, stockings, shoes, ties, belts, and

things of this nature are often not thought of until the last minute. Note that the

women’s shoes may need to be dyed to match their dresses, and this is done by

more high-end shoe stores.            

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Wedding Vows and Speeches

Will you be writing your own vows or saying traditional vows? Traditional vows

are beautiful, and meaningful, but these days, it seems that more and more

people are writing their own vows. While this comes very easy for some, it is

quite difficult for others.

If you are nervous about writing your own vows, let’s give you good reasons to

relax. First, realize that whether you write your own vows or use traditional vows,

you will still be speaking in front of everyone. This is why many people avoid

doing their own vows, without realizing it…they are simply a little fearful of ‘public

speaking’ and they realize too late that ‘public speaking’ is involved no matter

what.

Next, realize that your own vows will be much shorter than traditional vows in

most cases – unless you already have an awful lot to say. So, if public speaking

is a fear, you will actually do better by writing your own vows. Finally, there is no

hard and fast rule that says that you must memorize your vows. You can write

them down on a card, and read from it during your ceremony. The trick is to not

sound like you are reading.

Vows do not have to be original. You can recite a poem that tells your beloved

how you feel. You can recite lyrics to songs as well. When you first start saying

your vows, give the author credit by saying something to the effect of ‘Such and

Such said it better than I ever could in his poem entitled (title of the poem).’

Follow that with the passage that you want to read. End it with your own words

however, telling your beloved that you will love them until the end of time.

Aside from vows, there are also speeches that are typically made during the

reception. These speeches can be made at anytime, but are usually made when

the wedding cake is served and toasts are made, or while waiting for the meal to

be served. The best man usually gives a speech, but in today’s world, the maid

of honor may also give a speech. There may also be a speech given by the

father of the bride, and the father of the groom, depending on what the bride and

groom want. Usually, these are the only speeches given, although the groom

may also give a speech, toasting his bride.

Usually, the people who are giving speeches write them, and they may or may

not memorize them. Regardless of whether or not the speech is memorized, the

speaker usually has a note card, in case they get nervous and forget what they

were going to say. These speeches are usually not rehearsed with the bride and

groom present.            

Wedding Pictures and Video

No matter how expensive or inexpensive your wedding is, one of the things you

absolutely will not want to skimp on is the pictures. Even if you want video of your

wedding, you will still want still pictures. You need a photographer.

Now, some people try to save money by having Uncle Walter or Cousin Fay

taking the pictures. This is almost always a mistake…unless your Uncle or

Cousin is a professional photographer. You need a professional photographer.

These days, a photographer will do both still pictures and video. They typically

employ assistants to help out, so that everything important gets captured.

Photographers always provide their own equipment, and they do require a

deposit up front. You pay the balance of what is owed when you pick up your

pictures and your video.

If your photographer doesn’t ask to see the wedding and reception locations in

advance, you might want to worry. Most professionals want to check lighting and

such ahead of time, to determine whether they need to provide additional lighting

or not. They will also request a safe room for additional equipment that they will

bring. This could be as simple as a closet that locks, with the photographer

holding the key during the event.

As mentioned, your photographer needs to see the wedding and reception

venues ahead of time. At that time, he should be taking notes, and you should be

talking. Ideally, you will tell him about particular shots that are important to you,

such as the kiss, the first dance, and things of this nature. Make sure that your

photographer has all of the information that he needs well in advance.

The photographer that you’ve chosen should also have a portfolio to show you.

The photos that you want to see the most are of weddings that he has done in

the past. Look at the clarity of the photos. Look at the shots that the

photographer captured. Are these the types of photos that you want of your own

wedding? If so, you’ve found your photographer.

Discuss the video with your photographer as well. Ask him if the video will be raw

or edited. The choice is usually up to you. Raw means that everything that the

video captures stays, while if the video is edited, bloopers may be edited out.

Again, this is your choice, and you need to discuss it with your photographer

ahead of time.

Photographers are not cheap, and getting an uncle or cousin to do it will save

you money – but the photographer is capturing a once in a lifetime thing on film,

and you want it to be as good as possible.            

Wedding Decorations and Flowers

What is a wedding without the flowers and decorations? While you could actually

get married without the flowers or decorations, it won’t feel quite like a wedding at

all. For flowers, you will of course need a florist, but not just any florist will do.

You want a florist who can help you to make your wedding beautiful.

First, think about all of the things that you need from your florist, and make a list.

Remember that florists can handle more than just flowers, in many cases. For

example, if you need to rent an arch for your ceremony, many florists can help

you out in this area. Florists can also do big bows made of various materials, and

make many of the decorations. Florists can also do candle type decorations, as

well as centerpieces for tables. Again, make a list of all of the flowers and

decorations that you need before you visit the florist.

As for flowers, not only will you need flowers to decorate the wedding and

reception venues, you will also need bouquets for your bridesmaids, a basket for

your flower girl with petals in it, a bride’s bouquet, boutonnieres for the

groomsmen, the father of the bride, the father of the groom, the ushers, and the

groom, and corsages for the mothers of the bride and groom.

While your wedding colors play a big role in your flower choices, the season that

you’re wedding takes place also matters. Certain flowers simply will not be

available during certain seasons, and others will be incredibly expensive during

certain seasons. For budgeting purposes, plan to use flowers that are in season

at the time that your wedding takes place.

For decoration purposes, your florist will most likely want to see the venues,

unless you have already decided what decorations and flowers you want, and

you can be very specific about it. If this is the case, there really is no need for the

florist to view the venues. But if you need the florists help, they will need to see

what they are working with. Often, a bride will tell the florist the date of the

wedding and her colors, as well as her flower and decoration budget, and just let

the florist do what florists do best.

Like photographers, a good florist will most likely have pictures for you to view of

different bouquets and arrangements. This makes it much easier to make

selections, but if you see a picture of an arrangement that is close, but not quite

what you want, discuss it with the florist. You will find that any picture of an

arrangement or bouquet can usually be changed to suit you.

While fresh flowers are beautiful, sometimes, it is more cost effective to use silk

flowers. Discuss the difference in price with your florist to make the best decision

for you, your wedding, and of course you’re wedding budget. Also, discuss

delivery and set up of all flowers and decorations in advance.            

Wedding Planners

Do you need a wedding planner? After giving it some thought, you may have

decided that you really don’t want the responsibility of doing everything to make

your wedding perfect. You may even think that you don’t have the first clue as to

what to do in order to bring it all together. You may want to consult with a

wedding planner, at the very least, as this is an inexpensive way to get some

great ideas for your wedding.

If you will be working with a wedding planner, obviously, you will want to get

referrals from friends or relatives before choosing one. Some wedding planners

are absolute paragons, while others are more likely to turn your wedding into an

absolute nightmare. Never hire the first wedding planner that you speak with.

Instead, talk with at least three wedding planners, and then make your decision.

A good wedding planner will be able to handle most aspects of your wedding, but

they will need your input for many decisions. Obviously, they need to know who

the players are, your preferences for colors and flowers, your preferences for

venues, your music preferences, your cake and meal preferences, and much

more. With all of these decisions on your plate, you may wonder why you are

actually using a wedding planner.

While most decisions are still yours to make, a wedding planner has three roles

in those decisions. First, they let you know what decisions need to be made, and

they never skip any of the details. Second, they let you know what your choices

are for those decisions. Third, a wedding planner makes sure that everything

comes together beautifully once the decisions are made – without stressing you.

The third reason is often the reason that a wedding planner is hired in the first

place – so that the bride and her family can truly enjoy all of the wedding

festivities, without the stress of planning it all and making sure that the dream

becomes a reality. That is the wedding planner’s job.

A good wedding planner will spend a great deal of time talking with you, and with

your groom as well. They need to get a true sense of who you are, and exactly

what it is that you want for your wedding. They want to design the wedding that

you have dreamed about, and they need your help to do it.

If there is no room in your budget for a human wedding planner, note that there

are actually many web based wedding planners. These are essentially web

based programs that lead you through the decisions and such, enabling you to

make all of the right selections, without leaving out any of the fine details. Many

brides find such programs invaluable to them during this happy, yet stressful

time. Most of these programs do have a fee associated with them, but they are

well worth the cost if you are planning your own wedding.            

Transportation

Transportation is one of those fine details that are often overlooked.

Transportation is definitely needed for a wedding, and there are many options.

You need various types of transportation for your wedding.

First, you need a way for the bride and the bridal party to arrive at the wedding

venue. The groom and groomsmen typically find their own mode of

transportation, but the bride and bridal party are usually brought to the wedding

venue by private car. You can opt to hire a limousine service, or you can arrive in

a horse and carriage. To save money, you can have a relative with a really nice

car drive you and your party to the wedding venue.

You need transportation that will take the bride and groom, as well as the rest of

the wedding party, to the reception venue. Usually, the bride and groom are

alone in one vehicle (with a driver), the bridal party is in a second vehicle, and

the groomsmen are in a third vehicle, depending on how big the wedding party is.

If there isn’t much in the budget for transportation, just worry about transportation

for the bride and groom, and arrange private transportation for the rest of the

wedding party in advance. Make sure that everyone knows how they are to get

from point A to point B in advance.

Finally, you will need transportation for the bride and groom once again, when

they leave the reception to start their honeymoon. The rest of the wedding party

arranges for their own transportation home. Transportation for the bride and

groom may take them to their new home, to a hotel, or to the airport. It may even

just take them a few blocks away to their own private vehicle.

It is wise to call and book cars and drivers well in advance. Do not put this off, or

you will find that there are no cars and/or drivers available for your big day. If this

is the case, consider renting cars for the day, as well as driver attire, and enlist

the help of friends or relatives that are not part of the wedding party for driving

duties.

Don’t forget the valet parking. If parking isn’t included with the venues that you

reserve for your wedding day, you should consider hiring private valets. Some

areas have professional valet services, and some do not. If your area does not,

contact a temp agency to hire valets that way. The number of valets that you

need depends on the number of people who have been invited to the wedding.

Depending on your venues, and available parking, you may not need a valet

service at all.            

Preparation for the Big Day

About two weeks before the wedding, everything should pretty much be done for

your wedding, and it should only be a matter of the big day arriving, and putting

everything into place. Here is a preparation checklist that you can use:

Two Weeks before the Wedding:

•

Double check with all services and professionals - Confirm that they will

be there on the big day, at the proper time. This includes photographers,

bakers, caterers, valet services, car services, bands/DJs, and florists.

Check with the venues to make sure that everything is in order.

•

Get the Attire – All fittings should be finished, and you should be able to

pick up all of the brides attire, as well as the attire for the bridal party.

Double check that everything is there and that it all fits just right.

•

Make Appointments – Make appointments for the bride and her party with

hair stylists, makeup artists, and if the budget allows, with a masseuse.

Often, the day before the wedding, the bride and her party will spend the

day at a spa for a full beauty treatment, and some much needed

relaxation.

One Week before the Wedding:

•

Finish paying for services and venues – Some services should not be paid

for until after the event, such as photography and music, but others will

need to be paid the day of the event. To avoid this added stress on your

big day, pay these fees the week of the wedding, instead of the day of the

wedding.

•

Get the Attire for the Men – Make sure that all rented tuxedos are picked

up, checked, and tried on. Do this several days before the wedding.

Invariably, a piece of a tux is always missing, or the wrong size is given.

Take care of any problems that arise with the attire.

•

Parties – Usually, friends throw bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Sometimes, they make the mistake of doing this the day before the big

day, and this is a mistake. Instead, plan these parties two or three days

before the big day, so that everyone is able to fully recover.            

The Day before the Wedding:

•

Visit a spa. Make the appointment in advance. This is more for relaxation

than for anything else, and it is important. If you’ve been under stress

planning your wedding, your spa day will definitely take the look of stress

out of your face, and the feeling of stress out of your body. Make sure that

you get that much needed massage.

•

Triple check with professionals – Check in once again with all of the

services and professionals associated with your wedding to ensure that

everything is on track. You don’t want to be worried on your wedding day

about the photographer showing up.

•

Go to bed early, and get at least twelve hours of sleep. If you find that you

are too excited or nervous to sleep, take an over-the-counter sleep aid to

help you get the rest that you need. Tomorrow is going to be a long day –

but a very happy day.

The Day of the Wedding:

•

Keep Appointments – The day starts early, and generally starts with hair,

makeup, and nail appointments. The bride should go ahead and take a

relaxing bath before these appointments. These appointments should be

made early enough in the day that you can relax during these

appointments, without worrying about being late to your own wedding.

When you make the appointments, make sure that these professionals

know that this is your wedding day, and that you cannot be late.

•

Make sure everyone knows their role – The day of the wedding can be

very hectic, but it doesn’t have to be. Enlist the help of friends and family

in advance to take care of last minute details. For example, have someone

arrive at both venues early in the day to ensure that everything is ready.

Someone will need to meet the florist and caterers early, so that they can

get set up. Someone needs to be in charge of paying for services that are

paid for the day of the event. Again, don’t leave anything to question. Plan

for these things in advance, and enlist help.

•

Get Ready for your Wedding – Your hair and makeup are beautiful.

Everything is in place and taken care of, and it is time to put on your

wedding gown, grab your bouquet, and walk down the aisle. Relax and

smile. This is the day that you have been dreaming of.